Preparing for a new baby is an exciting time, but there are a number of things that you worry about as a career woman. You worry about missing work and losing out on potential sales. You worry about losing business or partner relationships. You worry about being skipped over for a promotion. You worry about falling behind. You worry about being replaced.
When I was pregnant my worries didn’t stem from corporate culture or other external factors. As a naturally ambitious person, an overachiever, I place these worries on myself. But when my baby was born, everything I worried about as an employee went out the window. I wasn’t just an employee, I wasn’t someone’s manager, I wasn’t someone’s consultant. My baby promoted me to Mom. She picked me as her number one candidate for the position, and I am guaranteed job security forever. From the moment she was born, I would only think about holding her more, kissing her more, and being there for her as much as I could.
Photo credit: Rosalind Prieto
My new boss was new to the world and needed me, so I reached out to my other boss (the one that actually pays me) and extended my maternity leave. I ended up extending my leave 3 times, which wasn’t the best move, especially if you are career-focused. So here are my advice for all you working Preggos out there trying to plan for maternity leave.
Don’t Over-Promise Your Plans for Leave
Up until 7 months into my pregnancy, I imagined myself giving birth, taking a week or two off to recover and coming back to work immediately.
After 7 months, I started having vision problems. The white of my eyes turned blood red, and every once in a while I would have painful sensitivity to light to the point that I couldn’t open my eyes even if I sat in my house and closed the blinds. I pushed through it, and it only made it worse. Then I got to the point where I could spend no more than two or three hours a day on the computer, and it became almost dangerous to drive.
Pregnancy is an amazing experience, but it is a unique experience. You swell, you ooze, you drool, and even your voice might change. Since you won’t know what will happen on your amazing pregnancy journey, try to avoid over-promising too early on with your manager when it comes to your maternity leave. You don’t want to appear “flaky.” It’s better to come back early to work than to push it out as many times as I had.
Consider Your Baby’s Learning, Social and Basic Needs
Your pregnant self is in the middle of transitioning from worker bee to mom-to-be. Like myself, you are accustomed to juggling many things and you are planning your leave around how much you think you can handle at home and work when the baby arrives.
As a first-time mom, I didn’t realize until much later that it wasn’t about how much I could handle. Yes, we are amazing. We can do it all; everything and anything (go women!) But that’s not the point. When my baby was born my focus quickly shifted from my performance and abilities as a working mom-to-be to worrying about my baby’s development. Will she get enough play, enough to eat, enough attention and affection? Will she be comfortable spending 9 hours a day away from her home? Will she get enough quality time from me?
Priorities and concerns change with a new baby; it’s not about your abilities to handle more, but about what you believe will be best care for your baby and his or her development.
Consider Lost Time
Each time I extended my maternity leave I thought about one thing: the time I would lose with my baby if I didn’t take my benefits. The biggest reason that people forego their leave benefits (returning early) is money. Yes, you need money to take care of your baby. However, you can always make more money, but you can’t get back time lost with your baby that you didn’t take.
If you are a healthy individual of working age, you want to work, and you have access to childcare to continue working, then you can assume that you will continue to work for many more years.
So many changes and important milestones occur during the first months of a baby’s life, and for me, the cost of losing that time outweighed the reduction in income during leave.
Consider these topics before making your decision, and be confident in your choice. Remember, you are a great mom no matter what you decide.
What else do you consider when planning for maternity leave? Comment to share your story.
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