Everything is going smoothly. You and the firstborn finally have your rhythm down and share your own special bond. You have mastered the bedtime routine and you know your tiny human backward and forward. Life is great! Until the day comes that your firstborn is no longer the center of your entire universe and a new baby is on the way.
He or she is getting the covenant promotion to Big Brother or Big Sister! You could not be more excited but your little person is likely full of the anxiety of all the changes coming their way.
There are many things we can do as mama bears to get prepared before baby number two makes their debut to make the transition less stressful on the firstborn of the family. If you are gearing up for a season of raising two babies under two, I have some tips to help ease the transition on the older sibling.
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Trust me – the more prepared your older child is for their new role, the easier things will be on the entire family!
1. Start communicating to your toddler early about the baby
- Include them in the announcement. This will get them excited about what is to come
- Start reading books about how babies behave to get them used to what it will be like to have a baby around. It is important your toddler understand why the new baby requires so much attention and that the baby won’t be able to play with them right away
- Refer to your belly as the baby and try and get your toddler to understand that mommy has a baby growing in her belly
2. If you have any major changes that will impact your toddler when the new baby arrives, make those changes at least 6 weeks before the arrival of the new baby
- If the newborn will take over the crib or nursery, have the first little one moved into
their new bed or room well before the baby arrives. You don’t want your toddler to feel jealous or like the new baby is taking things away from them. You also do not want to deal with the sleep deprivation that will come from both children not sleeping through the night
3. Do not start any major transitions that impact your toddler during the first few months of baby arriving
- Do not start potty training, weaning from the breast or bottle, or any other transition
after the new baby arrives. Your toddler will have a hard enough time grasping the fact they are an older sibling and sharing their parents. Additional transitions will create additional stress on the family
4. Keep a specific part of the day special between you and your toddler
- If you and your toddler always shared bath time, for example, keep that time sacred!
Implement help from dad or another caregiver to look after the newborn while you spend one on one time with your first born. It is important they still feel extra special
5. Explain to your toddler earlier about transitions that will take place
- Tiny humans are smarter than we think! While your toddler may still be a baby themselves, they are soaking in a lot about what is happening and they understand when you talk to them. Let them know a new family member is coming soon. Warn them about how babies behave – they sleep, cry, and drink milk. Make sure they understand the new sibling is too little to play with them. Tell them that mommy will need their help with the new baby. All of these little conversations over the course of your pregnancy will go a long way when you bring baby home!
6. Last tip – create a busy box or special gift from the baby to give their big bro or sis at the hospital when meeting for the first time.
- Nothing like good old fashioned bribery – just kidding! Your firstborn will appreciate and warm up to their new sibling much faster if they can associate something cool with the baby.
While these tips will not guarantee your toddler from the many tantrums that will indeed come from seeing mommy give so much time and attention to someone new, implementing these few tips before the arrival of baby number two will soften the blow. Not having mommy’s undivided attention is a huge adjustment for a little person so getting them used to their new role early is crucial to their new role of showing the baby the ropes!
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