I Tried – Documenting Another Night Of Misery

From the beginning, my seven-year-old was a great sleeper. I mean, he became a great sleeper once I gave up on the dream to have him sleep in his own bed. It just didn’t work. At two weeks old and after 14 days of being awake, I gave in and just let him sleep in my bed.

Everyone warned me that he would be there until he turned five but at a year old, I started transitioning him to his own bed and he took to it quite quickly. That’s when we realized he could sleep through anything. We could stand over him and have full conversations and he wouldn’t budge. On more than a few occasions, he would fall out of bed and barely acknowledge that anything happened. 

This continued up until the past few weeks. Suddenly, my solid sleeper was up at night asking to be in my bed. He complained that he was lonely at night. It wasn’t something that ever bothered him before. Our rooms are right next to each other but he still felt alone. He told me that everyone else sleeps together (my two-year-old still sleeps in the room with my husband and I) and that he didn’t have anyone to keep him company in his room.

Naturally, I got worried that something else could be going on. I asked him questions about school. Who were his friends? Who does he play with? Is there anyone or anything that is bothering you? Any trouble in class? How do you feel about your teachers? I interviewed him from all angles but he didn’t respond that anything was amiss.

He was happy in his class and with his teachers. He had a good time with his friends and no one was bothering him. He just insisted that he was lonely at night and that he didn’t like it

Unfortunately, having him in our bed meant that we weren’t sleeping well at all. I tried to bring him back to bed, to reassure him and give him a stuffed friend to hold but after about 20 minutes or so, he would be in my room again, or worse, crying loudly from bed because he heard the ice machine in the freezer and it scared him.

After about an hour of back and forth, my husband would tell me to just let him sleep with us. He was concerned that the lack of sleep was affecting my son during the day, and it was. He was moody. He would yell at his baby brother and cry at the drop of a hat. We were all worn out. 

A few days ago, I found myself in bed, wide awake and uncomfortable while my son snored gently, wedged to my side. A poem started floating through my mind and I grabbed my phone to jot it down. I shared it on social media and a fellow mom suggested that I get him a pet.

My apartment is on the smaller side so a dog isn’t a good option but he does have an affinity for fish. We went out and he picked out a cute little Beta fish he named “Bluey”. I told him that now he could sleep in his bed all night because he was no longer alone. Bluey was with him.

It has only been one night but it worked. He slept in his room all night long. I asked him about it in the morning and he told me he doesn’t have to come into our room anymore. “I’m not alone, Mom. Bluey is with me”. I have my fingers crossed for many more restful nights for all of us. 

As for the poem I wrote on that faithful night, here it goes;

I Tried

I tried to tell you

You’re not alone

To hug your Beekle tight

I tried to tell you

Go to sleep it’s the middle of the night

I tried to tell you

There are no monsters

No googly-eyed beings under your bed

I tried to tell you

But you prefer to sleep in mine instead

I tried to tell him

It’s no good to have him here with us

I tried to say

We need to push through

Deal with all the fuss

I tried to tell him

I simply cannot sleep like this again

But here you are

Lying snug between me and my best friend

I tried to tell me

It’s ok you’ll sleep eventually

I tried to move me here and there

Uncomfortable as can be

I tried to tell me

Just lie still, relax and let it be

But here I am

Documenting another night of misery (hyperbole)