18 Pregnancies, 14 Miscarriages, and My Family Is Finally Complete

My first miscarriage happened at 18. I had my first son at 19. Shortly after that, I became a divorced single mother. Over the next 7 years there were 3 more losses during a long term relationship, that ended.

When I eventually met and married my husband, we tried right away to conceive. I was 27, he was 37. He had 2 children from his previous marriage as well, so I anticipated that I’d be pregnant quickly. It took us 9 months to conceive. Things didn’t seem to progress normally. At 10 weeks it was diagnosed as an ectopic pregnancy and I had several doses of methotrexate. Luckily, I didn’t have to lose a Fallopian tube.

Following that miscarriage, we tried everything to have a baby. For 6 long years we did all we could except for IVF. We gave up.

Then a total miracle happened! I was pregnant with TWINS! Conceived naturally. Things seemed well at first until I experienced bleeding. At 8 weeks I had lost one of the fraternal twins. I was placed on progesterone injections in the hopes that the other one would survive. And he did! After 14 years of waiting to have a second baby, he arrived perfect and healthy. My husband and I assumed he was our only miracle and that we’d not be able to have more. When my middle son was 12 months old I miscarried again. That following December I got pregnant with our third son. His pregnancy was without issue and was born beautifully.

In my heart, I always knew there was supposed to be a little girl that was meant to join our family. So, we tried yet again. From October 2017 through May 2019, I went on to lose another 8 babies in a row. It was absolutely the hardest time of my life. There was no hope at that point and I was not okay emotionally. My anxiety was through the roof. When I saw an infant I had a hard time not crying. My heart hurt so badly I wasn’t sure if I could tolerate the pain. My husband made it clear that he was not on board with ever getting pregnant after that. We’d tried our best and it just wasn’t meant to be. The girl I’d dreamt of all my life clearly wasn’t coming to our family.

I scheduled a partial hysterectomy and abdominal surgery that had been put off during all the miscarriages. The surgery date was set for February 2020. We had been preventing pregnancy at that point, but in December we weren’t careful. I thought nothing of it initially. Until a glass of wine tasted funny one day and it clicked for me that I was probably pregnant. It would be my 18th pregnancy, so I was familiar with the signs. Instant fear set in because I just knew I couldn’t recover emotionally if I lost another baby.

Week after week, appointment after appointment, this baby held on! I am now 35 weeks along with a baby girl! After 14 total miscarriages and 3 sons, this girl will complete us! The joy I will feel watching my sons (ages 19, 5, and almost 4) bond with their sister will be unimaginable. They are so excited and talk to my belly daily. We are in love, blessed, and cannot wait to hold this miracle in our arms.

Follow Niki on IG @Nikistockdale.