Parenting A “Slow” Child In A Fast World

In a world where parents fight tooth and nail to ensure their kids come out “top of the class” and are so eager to show off their kids’ brilliance at Penelope’s 6th birthday party;

Mom: “Hey Allison, you must tell them what your teacher said about you”. 

Allison: “She said my work is exceptional and I am one of the best in class”. 

Parenting a child who is behind in comparison to her peers and one whom the teachers always “subtly” or “politely” complain about can be crushing to the soul. 

When sentences like:

“She’s yet to meet up with the reading goals for her grade” 

“She doesn’t interact with friends at school or barely says anything at all”

“She’s having a tough time grasping the idea of addition and subtraction”.

.. becomes a norm, it begins to hurt a lot. 

You start to wonder why. Why does it have to be your child?

At this point, it is very easy to start thinking it’s all your fault. The thoughts start to creep in. “Maybe you aren’t doing enough” or “maybe you are really bad at this thing called parenting”. 

Worse of all, it’s easy for you to take all this pressure and pile them on your child who is honestly trying to navigate the world at his own speed. 

In other to not feel left out of the “tales of my child is a superhero”, you force your kid to participate to make you feel proud.

“Why aren’t you saying anything”.

“Show them you can dance. Dance like you always do at home”. 

“You must play with the other kids”.

You may even use words like “can’t you see Leonard is doing it better”. Crushing your child in the process, unknowingly. 

As every animal has its unique ability and brilliance – whether slow or fast, so do humans. The comparison game isn’t only hurtful to your child but also has a major impact on their self-esteem making them feel less than. 

This can trigger a lot including anxiety. 

Dear parents,

This is a gentle reminder to please take your child as he is and go with him at his pace. 

Do more of whatever interests him and have fun doing it.

It’s all rainbows and unicorns that Kate is reading a 300-page sci-fi book at age 4 (be happy for her) but do not have sleepless nights over it and NEVER compare her to your child who’s still mastering sight words. 

Cheer your child on with every improvement and effort to do his or her best. And let that “best” be more than good enough. 

Help her out to better understand life around her, her academics, and social skills and do it ever so lovingly by never making her feel awkward for being as she is. 

Never feel ashamed of your child or try to hide your child’s differences in the presence of others. Let the world see how proud you are – even of the tiniest achievements. Most importantly, let your child see how proud you are of her. 

Your child may be slow with academics but loves playing basketball, art, gymnastics, building stuff, puzzles. It may even be none of these but one as amazing as the beauty of him having the biggest heart you have ever seen or a singing voice so angelic you tear up. Amplify that and make him see how super he is when doing that. 

Please understand that every child is different and special in their own unique way. 

What’s the world without each of our beautiful personalities and abilities to complement each other and make it what it is. 

Your child isn’t slow. She is unique and indeed very VERY special. Be her biggest supporter and do not hesitate to show it, any day or any time. This very act is one your child will NEVER forget. 

Honestly, a great majority of children who developed slower than their peers always end up catching up. You can speak with your child’s doctor about it and come up with ways to assist your child depending on the area of developmental delay, but never think your child is less than others, he’s just taking a little more time to get to know the world around him.