Random Things Nobody Tells You About Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a journey that no amount of googling, staying around pregnant women or advice from our moms, sisters or friends really prepares you for. To really get it, you just have to experience it.

This isn’t your regular ‘What to expect when you are expecting’ post because if we are being honest, you already know what to expect. On one hand, there’s the fatigue, the morning sickness, the constant hunger pangs and on the other hand, there are the random pregnancy signs.

Let’s get right into it.

#1 As the months fly by and your belly grows bigger, getting out of bed becomes a struggle. You have to roll out of bed like a croissant every time you want to get up. By the time you get to the third trimester, you’d do the ‘croissant roll’ eighty-two times between midnight and dawn. Yes, we counted.

#2 Your spouse/partner might not do the chores to your satisfaction. There are some chores you will no longer be able to do because you are ‘with child’. Your spouse or partner is going to step up but they might not be able to step up to your level of perfection. It is best you make your peace with that

#3 You won’t be able to wash your feet for months. You know your belly would grow as the weeks turn to months but one thing that never occurs to anyone until it actually happens is ‘I won’t be able to wash my feet’.

#4 Neither will you be able to shave your lady part without help. If your partner is squeamish, bear in mind that you are going to grow a forest for at least 4 months. You also have the alternative of doing it yourself with the help of a mirror.

#5 In the last trimester, you WILL waddle. You literally go from cat-walking like Naomi Campbell to ‘duck walking’- also known as waddling- like well…a duck! This is the one time you can blame the baby and get away with it.

#6 Everywhere suddenly becomes too far. The walk from the front door to the car might as well be a walk through seven mountains and seven seas.

#7 Breathlessness becomes the order of the day. You stand for too long, you are breathless. You walk from the front door to the car or from the living room to the toilet, you are breathless. You talk too fast or too much, you are breathless. You stand up too quickly, you are breathless. Let’s blame the baby again, shall we?

Now let’s sing Shane Ward’s Breathless at the top of our voices!!!

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine

You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful, you’re leaving me… breathless

If you are pregnant and sang along, you are probably breathless right now so first things first, drink water and take a seat mama. You are doing an amazing job.

Like the lyrics of the song says, that child in your belly represents everything good in your life, that child really did walk out of one of your dreams and straight into your belly. Soon, you will meet the life that is baking inside you and it will be a beautifully surreal moment. We promise you!

Stay Breathless Mama!

No, scratch that. BREATHE…