“Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
– C.S. Lewis
Between school runs, preparing multiple meals per day and being available to answer the endless questions that children tend to have, motherhood can be overwhelming. More so, it is easy to get so caught up in the routine that you hardly have ‘me-time’.
This is where mom friendships come in.
Whatever stage of life we find ourselves, the truth is that friends are an important part of our existence. We bet that’s why World Friendship Day is celebrated annually on the 30th of July. And trust us at Pregnant and Perfect not to pass up any opportunity to celebrate all aspects of real parenting.
How important are Mom Friendships?
First off, we would like to clear any doubts you’re having as to why this kind of friendship is necessary. So, take a moment to think back to your high school or college years. The chances are that within this period, you had friends with whom you made memories and experienced milestones. How much more having friends during an important journey as significant as motherhood?
With parenting comes an abundance of responsibilities so much that it becomes a cycle of endless activities: Kitchen – Bathtub – Laundry – Kitchen – Overseeing Homework – Grocery Shopping. Rinse and repeat cycle to an infinity.
But you see, as it is with many other things, unforeseen circumstances will come into play. Our control of childcare ‘routines’ will slip away, and stress will become a common occurrence. When that happens, what will you do? How will you rejuvenate and get your groove back?
Leveraging on existing mom friendships is one way to go!
Mom friendships can be BOTH your old friends and relatively new ones with whom you’re just starting out as a mom. What matters is their presence in your life per time.
Here’s why you need them:
1. You need the company: ‘Isolation is great!’ said no mom ever. If you’re the first among your pool of friends to get pregnant and have a baby, it is likely that your priorities and those of your closest friends will become more and more different. However, with mom friendships say a breastfeeding group, you’ll have your very own caucus with which to savor every experience that comes with being a mom.
2. The presence of good friends is important for your mental health: Men and women have been proven to react to stress differently – which is as a result of their unique secretion of hormones. While men often divert their attention from the origin of worry (by focusing on an escape activity), women are mostly known to take solace in their relationships. Women adopt the support system of friends, family, or an intimate group. They ‘talk out the emotional experience, to process what is happening and what might be done’.
3. Sometimes, meeting up with long-time friends can seem like a luxury: If you’re living miles apart from your old friends, you may not see very often. But the truth is that life happens even when it’s neither Christmas nor Thanksgiving. What happens when you have a breakdown on a regular weekend in the middle of August? How do you cope with a houseful of kids, unwashed laundry and unpacked grocer and your best friend is nine time zones away – and all you want to do is rant? Mom friendships in close proximity can sure be a lifesaver, at least in that moment.
So, how do you make and keep up with your mom friendships?
- Join community groups: If you’re an ardent Pregnant and Perfect mom, we don’t know why you’ve not told a mom-friend about us yet. Wink!
- Meet with a mom who frequents the same salon, cafe, book club, children’s pottery, or gymnastics class as you. That way, you’d find someone whom you’ll both be invested in similar activities. Or, you won’t be stuck on striking conversations with complete strangers all the time. If you ask us, that makes it easier!
- Leverage social media: An exclusive group where you share insights, experiences, and encourage one another is a great way to stay connected and informed. This also allows you to be sensitive to one another’s transition, show interest in everyone’s struggles, goals, and even other aspirations asides motherhood (professional goals, for instance).
- Have fun while at it: Savour each moment and memory that motherhood brings your way. Together, you can take a day – or a weekend off – and have the dads handle child care while you rest and rejuvenate. We certainly crave this!
In commemoration of World Friendship Day, we got some moms to share what their most-treasured friendships mean for them. Enjoy!
Heather and Alyssa had their c-sections on the same day in the same hospital.
Having a mom best friend who you can go to for literally anything is SO important. My friend Heather and I have such a magical friendship and it is one of my favorite stories EVER. Heather and I both had c-sections on the same day in the SAME hospital in 2018. We joked our entire pregnancy about this “happening” but I don’t think either of us ever expected this to ACTUALLY happen. Like what are the odds?! 🤯 Crazy coincidence but a beautiful gift from the heavens to have someone you can cry to (literally in the hospital) at 2am as a new c section mama trying to breastfeed. I was so emotional after my failed induction and who kept me positive, strong, and brave? Heather.💗
We spent so much time together during our maternity leaves learning to be moms and we both transitioned back to work at the same time and it was so reassuring figuring out how to be working moms together. Now it gets even crazier as in the past 5 months we both have had SUCCESSFUL VBACs and are now juggling the beautiful mess that is 2 under 2 life. Do you better understand why I said magical? So lucky right? 🥰
In times I have felt alone, unsure, scared and just flat out needed someone to laugh at me I have someone who really gets it and can relate 110 PERCENT ✨ I am so grateful for this friendship and this chance to go through motherhood with one of the most down-to-earth beautiful girls I know. Thanks for ALWAYS inspiring me Heather and happy friendship day today and every day ❤️❤️.
Alyssa.
Follow Alyssa on IG @dreamingofthefarm and Heather @thegingypants.
Dear Nichola,
When I think of our favorite memory together, my mind always goes back to the time I told you I was pregnant and you told me you were too! The scream was unanimous. There we were, two young expecting mothers absolutely petrified but nonetheless, in it together. We went on a journey throughout pregnancy sharing the ups and downs of growing little humans inside of us; it was emotional, exciting, and scary… and looking back I can’t think of a better bump partner! In my days of discomfort, growing body parts, and uncertainty, you were always there to lend an ear. Your words of encouragement always seemed to come at the exact time I needed them. On the days I didn’t feel my best your jokes got me through. My permanently full bladder didn’t appreciate them, but I sure did.
Even though we became mothers in the same month, I can’t help but look up to you. I watch you raise Luke and juggle your full-time job with such dignity and grace. You take on meltdowns, chaotic bath times, and learning hours with strength and a smile. Luke is so blessed to have such a resilient, loving and supportive mom. As our children continue to grow and we figure out this rollercoaster ride called “motherhood” just be rest assured you’ll always have me to call on and a mom bestie that will be there to support you in any way I can.
Just know you are loved, admired and appreciated.
With Hugs and Love,
Zoë.
Follow Zoe on IG @zoeallamby and Nichola @cocotea_.
Dear bestie,
I can’t believe our kids have grown up together since they were 1. I found you when I needed the most support as a mom, as a woman, and as a spouse. Going through mama life with you has made all of the scary not so scary, the good so much better and the special moments so much more memorable. I love watching our kids play and embrace each other as if they were family. It really is true, you can choose your family and I’m so thankful I chose you to be a part of it. Thank you for always being there for me, the girls and our family. Thank you for picking me up from egg retrieval surgery, for picking me up from the floor after a miscarriage and for being a shoulder to cry on after all the loss. Thank you, just thank you and I love you, Leanna.
Erin.
Follow Erin on IG @mybeautifulblunder and Leanna @leannallyon22.
Jasmine, you are an amazing mother and nurse. I know some days you may feel like you can’t do it or your not enough but you are. As a mother and nurse myself, I understand the daily challenges you face on a day to day basis but you handle it like a boss. Your children adore you and they are proud to have you as their mom. Although you may not know it but you encourage me to keep going. When I see your daily posts I feel more than compelled to work harder as a nurse and Mom. Thank you for always being there for me even if it’s only virtually. You rock Jaz and just remember I’m proud of you. I love you!
Jasmine.
Follow Jasmine on IG @beautiful_jasminemarie and Jasmine @jrey_rn.
Happy World Friendship Day. To those mom friends that have had your back and showed you so much love and care, send them a heartfelt message today to let them know what they mean to you and how much you appreciate them.
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