And yet, my plan worked perfectly…
Well, in the sense of ticking some items on a list of ‘things’ I would and wouldn’t want during the process, such as “please don’t come near my Perineum with a knife unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!. Yes, I had a “birth plan” but what I didn’t have was a birth plan, in my own mind.
I find myself quite an easy-going person, sort of a go-with-the-flow type. So when it came to preparing the all-essential birth plan, I was in foreign territory. How was I supposed to know what I would and wouldn’t want during something I could barely fathom to imagine, anyway?!. After all, I had never felt contractions before, how could I know I could cope without relief for a pain I had never experienced before?
So, when it came time to fill in the plan my midwife had provided (tick yes if you would like this, tick no if you don’t!), I ticked my preferences and forgot the entire thing by the time I was in labor. To be honest, I don’t even know if the delivery midwife in the room that day even noticed my ‘plan’ in the back of our maternity book. Certainly didn’t think about it.
I had hoped I would cope with my pain without relief, yes. Also hoped I would be able to swing from the cloths that hung from the ceiling in the delivery room for a comfortable and perfectly-natural birth, yes. Even hoped it would be perfect, painless and wonderful (don’t we all)! Even so, I was aware that births (often) don’t go the way we plan. Emergencies can happen, some bodies don’t cooperate, some babies are stubborn. I read, too often, women who spoke of feeling disappointed in themselves, or their delivery teams, for things not going to plan on the big day.
Maybe I just wanted to avoid the disappointment myself.
I decided to let things flow when the big day arrived. If, for the health of my baby or myself, I needed a little help for her safe arrival, I would accept it with open arms. I decided not to focus on the ‘plan’ and rather focus on listening to my body, my mind and the advice of the experts around me to make the arrival of my baby girl as safe as possible.
And so they did. So, maybe I didn’t get to swing from the beautiful cloths hanging from the ceiling and maybe I screamed PINEAPPLES (safe-word for GET ME THE EPIDURAL, NOW!) once my contractions kicked in, and maybe I didn’t even make it to the beautiful delivery room due to complete loss of feeling in my legs (thanks Pineapples!) but I wouldn’t change a moment of it. My girl arrived safely, I survived, and the moment I saw her eyes looking up at me the entire 13 hours of labour before-hand disappeared from my thoughts – she was finally here, she is alive, she is beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong, setting guidelines and boundaries is super important in preparation for that big moment. Every momma knows, in her mind, how she would like the big day to go. But getting bogged down in ‘disappointment’ that things didn’t go according to plan isn’t worth your energy. Making a plan is important, yes, but preparing yourself for the possibility that things might happen differently is equally as important.
Besides, in the end, all that matters is that you finally get to hold your baby (or, babies!) safely in your arms! After all, it’s been a long and eager wait for that moment!
It was through this incredible experience that I re-discovered my passion for writing, for sharing my experiences and for inspiring others to follow their dreams. I won tripsacross continents, travelled across Western USA on a writing assignment and became a regular contributor to the travel brand Contiki.
It was also on this journey that life opened up a new door of adventure and opportunity; I fell in love, and I fell pregnant! Now, my passion for writing and inspiring has taken on a whole new meaning (and audience!).
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