My 51-Year-Old Post Menopausal Mom Is My Surrogate

Our story began in 2016, we stepped off the plane from our honeymoon and were informed bad news about my grandfather. He had just found out he was terminally ill, cancer, and given a year left to live. We were devastated. Our plans to wait to try for a baby quickly switched, we wanted to start right away as his biggest wish was to see his great-grandchild.

Once the trying began, I thought it would happen right away. I mean that is what they tell you in health class right? Well, it didn’t. After a year or so we went and spoke with our OBGYN who referred us to Dr. Kaplan at Fertility Centers of Illinois. After a few tests, we were on the track to begin our IVF journey. We had success in getting pregnant with IVF but sadly kept losing the pregnancies. After a round in 2018, we discovered we were pregnant with twins via IVF. We had thought we made it past all the major hurdles of the first trimester but were shattered to find out later that both of our twins sadly passed around 11 weeks, resulting in a missed miscarriage.

Recommended by our OBGYN we did a D&C to remove the pregnancy. Unfortunately, we later discovered, a complication for the procedure occurred called Asherman’s Syndrome. This condition is when scar tissue is formed inside the uterus, making it near impossible for a baby to implant and grow. We sought out top doctors in the US to help try to correct the damage that took place but were found to be unsuccessful in any further fertility treatment.

After many more attempts with our fertility doctor, a gestational surrogate was suggested for us. I took this news incredibly hard. I had to give up the dreams of being pregnant myself and carrying and delivering our own baby. Things I have dreamed about for as long as I could remember. Once I started researching surrogacy costs, I had sticker shock. Surrogacy through an agency runs around $100k-$150k. I expressed my concerns with my doctor and he asked if I knew anyone who would offer to carry for us as a gift, that it could significantly lower the costs.

My mom had already begun approaching us to carry before we really even started looking, but I kept telling her no. I didn’t think it was possible for her to carry at her age since she was already posted menopausal. It all changed the day my mom came to one of my appointments and met my doctor. I introduced them and he thought she was my sister! I could see him really studying her, he knew she was super into fitness and nutrition, competed in triathlons and ran the Boston marathon in 2016 and 2018. He wanted us to get clearance from psychologist, OBGYN, and MFM. Once we began the regimen of testing, my mom passed everything they threw at her with flying colors. Our fertility doctor soon discovered she was in better health than half of his patients in their 30s.

We completed her transfer on Feb 25th and learned she was pregnant soon after. We were excited but hesitant. We had felt heartbreak before and kept our guard up. She sailed through the first trimester with mild symptoms, and now at 20 weeks has been feeling great!

We found out we are having a perfect baby girl, and we can’t wait to meet her come November!

One thing that kept me going when I was in the darkest of my days, is that every path to motherhood is different. I was determined to be a mom, whether it was me carrying my own baby, using a gestational surrogate, or adoption. I would stop at nothing until I made that dream come true.

Follow Breanna Lockwood and her family’s journey on Instagram to welcoming their baby girl.