Pregnant But Not Excited…

Remember when you prayed for this moment? Remember when you cried when your period was on time? How you desperately hoped that the ‘one day delay’ meant you were finally pregnant?

Remember the tears of joy that streamed down your face when the test strip bore two lines in less than a minute? Remember how you placed your hand on your belly and whispered (or maybe shouted) ‘I am going to be a mother’?

You are in that moment you longed for but it feels nothing like you were told. Everything about this moment that is supposed to be joyous makes you very unhappy. You never thought pregnancy would be so emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. Now, you wish you never got pregnant and you are riddled with grief that you no longer want something you yearned for.

Although you crave being heard and want to scream at the top of your lunges but you dread even voicing out your feelings because you fear the judgment that would follow.

Why do you not feel like those mothers you see everywhere beaming with joy during pregnancy?

Dearest mom-to-be,

Remember that you are human first before anything else so it’s okay to feel unhappy when you feel worn out. It’s okay to want the phase to be over. In between the morning sicknesses, the backaches, sleepless nights, discomfort and raging hunger, there’s little to no room for happiness. However, think of the future; the joy you’d feel when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, your baby’s giggles, the cute co-ordinated outfits and everything else you are looking forward to.

Try to enjoy your pregnancy; throw yourself a baby shower, take walks, eat whatever you crave, talk to your child, take photos and make videos to preserve the memory. You prayed for this so do not let anything steal your joy. Stop worrying about the extra weight instead think of the child that is worth the wait. You are not alone. Every day you wake up, affirm and speak to your baby and your body. You didn’t come this far to give up.

If you still do not feel good despite your best efforts to feel better, it’s okay. Don’t let yourself wallow in guilt. There are so many mothers like you that feel this way. It doesn’t make you a bad mom-to-be. Take each day as it comes and just breathe, it would be over before you know it. You’ve got this!